In a social psychology survey on personality traits, authenticity and sincerity ranked first among popular traits. In the indicators for judging mental health, the unity of subjectivity and objectivity, and the coordination of cognition, emotion, and behavior are important criteria.
From this, it can be seen that whether we can be consistent with others and ourselves is closely related to the quality of our interpersonal communication and our own mental health level. It can be said that people who are insincere not only have poor interpersonal relationships, but also have lower levels of personal mental health.
From well intentioned falsehoods to malicious deception, it is a heavy psychological burden for the parties involved.
In order to maintain a lie, sometimes one has to continue fabricating countless lies. The exposure risks, potential threats to relationships, and negative impacts on personal image that arise from this can become a dark cloud that hangs over the hearts of the parties involved, leading to a significant loss of psychological energy.
It is not easy to always maintain consistency in one’s heart and mouth. Sometimes some well intentioned lies are based on the consideration of others. For example, we cannot bear to tell the truth to our relatives and friends who have experienced misfortune (such as major illness or loss). Mr. Ji Xianlin’s response strategy to this is very wise. His attitude is: not telling any lies, not telling all the truth.
When faced with situations where one cannot speak directly, it is better to talk to others or remain silent than to fabricate fragile lies to deceive. This is not only respect and goodwill towards the other party, but also respect and love towards oneself.
When we have negative emotions in our hearts, if reason tells us that we are on the right side, there are not many obstacles to expressing ourselves truthfully to the outside world; If reason tells us that we are not very rational, then things will be more difficult. Saying it out may not necessarily receive support, and not saying it is really uncomfortable to hold back. Under hesitation, people’s words and actions will be more comical. Sometimes speaking hesitantly and unclearly, sometimes insincere and insincere, making oneself uncomfortable and others uncomfortable. This can also lead to excessive depletion of psychological energy.
In ‘The Turn of One Thought’, the author advises people to be friends with the truth, which can be described as concise and heartfelt.
This simple principle reflects a person’s level of psychological maturity and wisdom in dealing with people. The ‘simplicity of the road’ can achieve consistency between the surface and the inside, and silence is golden when necessary. It should be about the same.