In life, we all encounter people who are ‘serious’.
Reason cannot go back and forth. Act in your own way to feel at ease;
Doing it oneself may feel aggrieved, while others may complain, nitpick, and blame if they don’t do it;
Strive to be strong and competitive, often arguing with others in the name of “truth” and “experience”, to prove that others are wrong and oneself is right;
Cannot accept losing, cannot be questioned or denied by others;
It is difficult to empathize and comfort others, and sometimes they may not forgive them;
……
This type of person has a sensitive and impatient personality, cares about others’ evaluations, always feels that others are unreliable, checks the door lock two or three times before going out, afraid of water and electricity leakage, always fixates on the past, worries about the future, and always hopes to do things the best. If there are people or things around them that do not comply with their wishes and conflict with their values, it is often difficult to accept.
Is this good or bad?
From a psychological perspective, truth-seeking is primarily a defense of boundaries. I am safe in this area. Secondly, by doing so, he demands strict standards of himself, has a strong sense of responsibility, and is considered “reliable” in the minds of others. It doesn’t seem like anything bad.
From a phenomenological perspective, repeatedly emphasizing and defending oneself, insisting on one’s own actions almost persistently, blocking and not accepting different opinions from the outside world, and maintaining one’s inner balance are more of a survival strategy. Perhaps in a living environment where he is constantly attacked, criticized, denied, and his self-esteem is damaged, and even has no family to understand him, he is likely to become such a ‘serious person’.
Being honest is not good or bad. If one is strict with others and they are unhappy, it can also affect one’s mood. Not liking to be ‘serious’ about oneself is the problem.
Everyone has a temper, everyone has differences. Growing up in a certain environment is a characteristic, just a personality trait of a person. It is not a personality defect, nor is it a psychological defect. When a person’s demands are always not seen, and their needs and emotions are not adequately expressed, their urgent desire for affirmation and recognition is transformed into a distorted way of expression. When a person’s demands are seen, their energy is positive.
At the same time, there is no need to worry about the negative impact of being too serious. A person who takes things seriously has a bottom line and can hold onto it. This is the biggest difference from ‘gangsters’, who only constantly negate others. They have no bottom line or center in their hearts, and only derive pleasure from negating others.
Speaking of which, come back to it. A person cannot remain unchanged, ‘getting stuck in a bull’s horn’ and ‘being too serious’ will eventually become rounder. Life is complex, rich, and multifaceted, like flowing water that never stops. On the path of growth, you will encounter more things and people, and you will adapt, conflict, and reconcile with the outside world in all aspects. Even if you are serious, you will eventually be in the same place.
Do not impose your own standards and requirements on others, nor do you impose others’ standards and requirements on yourself. Find a space for yourself to be independent of others, and at that time, the rigid adherence to “being serious” will no longer exist.