In the process of interpersonal communication, praising the other party’s child’s intelligence is often welcomed. Because intelligence often refers to talent, which mainly comes from genetics, which in turn comes from parents, praising someone else’s child for being intelligent is equivalent to praising their parents for being excellent, which is certainly beneficial.
However, everything has two sides. Parents who raise smart children need to pay attention to some special things:
Smart children are often more curious and exploratory than other children, and are not as honest, responsible, and easy to raise as ordinary children. This requires you to have the ability to discern people with discerning eyes and discover the brilliance of wisdom from children’s mischievous behavior.
Smart children are often more responsive and learn things faster than other children. This is a great resource, but it can also lead to superficiality and pride. The primary school stage is the stage for smart children. Starting from junior high school, as the number and difficulty of subjects increase, those who are accustomed to quick decision-making may lack investment in subjects that require a lot of time and energy, and their grades will naturally not be as excellent as in primary school. Some children adjust quickly and can adapt to new learning modes. Some children continue to rely on their “smart” foundation, and the widening gap between them and others can lead to self doubt, anxiety, and avoidance behaviors such as disinterest in learning.
Smart children are often surrounded by praise as they grow up. Their all-around narcissism lasts longer than other children, and their psychological maturity is later. Their tolerance for setbacks and criticism is relatively weaker.
In addition, comparative experiments conducted in the West have shown that children who are praised for their intelligence and those who are praised for their hard work have different choices when facing difficulties and tests: the former tend to choose more easily successful things to maintain their “smart” image; The latter is more willing to challenge difficult things and will never give up even if they fail. Even smart children, when praised differently, can have vastly different outcomes.
If you also have a smart child, besides being pleased, you need to be aware that as a parent, you may have to put in more effort and meet higher requirements than other parents. Are you ready for this?