In a group of five people, there will always be someone who is “picky” and “picky” about the brand. Everyone gathers to chat and ask for warmth, but he is like this.
Let’s discuss where to eat, let him say where to go first, he says’ it’s okay ‘, and when you say it, he will immediately reject it. Reason continued: My stomach is not good, and the hygiene conditions there are not good …..
Everyone is chatting. This is not right for me, that ‘I can’t even call you by my side’, muttering ‘without conscience’. If you get close to him, he will harm you; If you don’t get close to him, he will ‘choreograph’ you …..
Facing each household. He always “jumps out” and says some “unpleasant” things that make people feel unhappy. If someone retaliates, he will also remain silent.
……
This is a type of person. There are many explanations behind its phenomenon. We watch as we play, there’s no need to match our roles.
- It’s a problem with his behavior pattern, not yours. Their destructive behavior is rooted in their own personality structure and has nothing to do with your value.
- This type of person assumes that they have a sense of “relational privilege” in interpersonal relationships, that they are irreplaceable in relationships, and that they smell the scent of “no need to pay a price”.
- Subconsciously, they view relationships as power games and dominate by creating conflicts.
- Unable to express needs in a healthy and constructive way, can only use “destruction” to attract attention or control.
- He believes that even if you cross the line, you will not leave or fight back.
Their world is built around their own needs. The meaning of others’ existence lies in their usefulness, but once they realize that you are not useful, they will nitpick and distance themselves. This self-centered tendency determines that he prioritizes his own needs, thus ignoring everyone in the relationship.
- In the face of such relationships, it is necessary to invest time in developing one’s skills, social circle, and interests. When you have diverse sources of self-worth, you will not overly rely on a particular relationship.
- Connect more with friends who make you feel positive.
- Stop automatically meeting his needs. When he makes a request, give yourself space to think: ‘I need some time to think’ or ‘This may not be convenient’.
If the other party makes an unreasonable request, try responding like this: “I understand you need help, but I cannot cooperate this time” or “This is not within my ability to bear. Psychological research shows that moderate rejection can actually earn respect and filter out those who only want to use you.
Facing such people, it is polite but firm to repeat one’s position: “I understand your point of view, but my opinion is…” This consistent expression will gradually change the other person’s expectations of your stability.
- Harmonious relationships are not about unilateral demands and tests, but require both parties to bear the responsibility of being needed.
- This type of person is a typical NPD. Unable to deal with one’s own “shortcomings”, getting rid of the uncomfortable feeling by blaming others. You have unintentionally become his’ emotional trash can ‘and self-esteem supply station.
- This type of person respects the law of the jungle of the jungle, believing that interpersonal relationships are zero sum games and must ensure their safety by suppressing others. He invisibly applies him to all relationships.
- Such people do not respect the boundaries of others and take their kindness and tolerance for granted. They kept probing the boundaries until they encountered a hard one.
- Being picky and destructive is an active behavior. To destroy relationships that make them feel pressured and responsible.
- Will not establish a true intimate relationship. True intimacy requires exposing one’s true self, taking on the risk of rejection, and maintaining a relationship where one’s superficial self prevails is safer.
- Such people, even when faced with deteriorating relationships, will not truly reflect. If they need you, they will also try to come back and ‘recycle’ you. Because he expects you to still be useful.
Facing this situation does not mean that you need to become “aggressive and aggressive”. If your blood relatives cannot do without you, you can hold on countless times: I accept your content, not your tone.
- Reduce proactive contact. Delaying replies to messages can make one’s life “busy”.
- It is necessary to examine whether one excessively needs recognition, companionship, or other forms of relationships from others. When you no longer ‘need’ him, you can choose to play with him or not play with him.
- This type of person needs to maintain a sense of “control over everything”, regardless of criticism or different perspectives. They will all experience it as a blow to their self-worth.
Sitting down and speaking requires extremely high emotional management skills, which are completely beyond their toolbox. Destroying relationships is the only way they know to end their inner pain.
23, possibly stemming from growth experiences, ‘You need me, it scares me’. Even normal care can be interpreted as a form of pressure by such people. Their destructive behavior is aimed at reclaiming the illusion of “independence” and “freedom”.
There is a prerequisite for “speaking well” in 24, that both parties hope the relationship will become better and are willing to take partial responsibility for it.
- Proactively destroying, at least maintaining a surface level of strength.
- Don’t expect to change them through patient and more skillful communication, it’s like expecting someone without legs to run.
- With over ten million entries, the first one is to safeguard and protect one’s spiritual and spiritual world from destruction. Your primary task remains to protect your spiritual world from his’ colonization ‘and destruction.