She came for the conflict between husband and wife. The wife thinks her husband is having an affair, but the husband refuses to admit it. At home, after arguing about divorce, I tried to solve the problem through psychological counseling when I had no choice.
Gege said that we are now at odds with each other, and he gets annoyed when he hears me talking. My husband looks around 45 years old, with fair skin, sportswear, and a smooth face. Sitting on the other end of the sofa, with his thighs pressing against his legs, his eyes looking elsewhere, silent. In less than three minutes, the husband said, ‘I’m going out to smoke a cigarette.’. Lightweight posture.
Gege talked about her entrepreneurial history. At that time, she started with a sewing machine, went from a tailor shop to a clothing factory, and her husband worked in a small factory. His family was not very well-off, so he thought he was a good person and got married. His brother is still working in the factory now. I have two sons. The eldest son is of marriageable age, and the second son is still young. Now he has been following the leader for several years and also has a business.
Her husband described it this way: her parents are still alive, and her mother is the master of the family. She has three brothers and only one girl. I was the second child. I always watched my parents’ color when I was young. She spent tens of thousands of dollars a year on cosmetic surgery. This time, I came here for micro surgery. I like to play play badminton. I play in the gymnasium. She always makes phone calls. My mother-in-law lives at home all year round My husband said, ‘I don’t want to endure it anymore.’.
A person entering marriage goes through three stages: romantic fantasy period, disillusionment period, and integration and stability period. The biggest task faced by middle-aged couples is integration. The stable period of integration is a result, but we often cannot reach the end. Integration is painful and the process is long. Everyone inevitably has some “dissatisfaction” in the process of growing up, and everyone holds onto different things. When a person falls into the lack of love, hatred, and injustice, we cannot empathize with them. After decades of human cultivation, both parties have acted independently, and their partners have been seen, carried, and satisfied with each other. There is not only joy, but also their own pain, difficulty, discomfort, and dissatisfaction. Suddenly remembered a sentence:
”Even if two people have nothing to say temporarily, it doesn’t matter. If they have nothing to say to each other, they can temporarily remain silent and lie quietly in each other’s arms, feeling lonely. This is the ultimate expression of mutual trust between two people and the highest level. ”What kind of chance coincidence is it that allows for space to be achieved! Moreover, after marriage, childbirth immediately follows, adding to the dual challenges of adaptation and nurturing, making it easier to encounter numerous conflicts.
Gege has a strong personality, coupled with her mother’s dominance, and it is evident that she grew up in a male environment with “courage”. The success of entrepreneurship has many personal traits. The competition between siblings highlights her gender advantage. Indeed, after removing her mask, her skin is fair and her face is beautiful, making her a very tight and sharp woman. In marriage, just like in life, she takes the initiative, thinking that “what you want is what you get”.
The husband also clarified his attitude by saying ‘endure’. Husband tends to be more tolerant when understanding his wife’s dominance, where would a man put away his natural aggressiveness? Catering, blaming, denying, and ignoring are all replacements for ‘tolerance’. The husband said: The eldest son has found a partner with a good personality, but his mother firmly disagrees. Here, borrowing the name of a son reveals a husband’s needs.
A couple is like a table tennis two player game, where the strong player projects their own needs as “whatever I want”. If the husband doesn’t receive the ball, the wife can kill him on her own. The wife complains about her husband’s lack of cooperation and unhappiness while playing, so she searches for happiness on her own. The wife still wants to play with him, but if the husband ignores her, the wife gets angry and makes noise. People, when faced with conflicts, the instinctive way is still to cry, make noise, hang themselves, communicate, and rationalize, which is late.
The emotional needs of the wife are perceived by the wife as being given to “other women,” but in reality, even if the husband sees the fragility behind a wife’s hardships and strength, he habitually retreats and avoids her spiritual needs and expectations. The wife’s anger, even flipping the table, are major events that the husband must avoid! Over time, the unfulfilled resentment and the resentment of those who have been ignored are like a flood rushing out of a floodgate, unstoppable. How can a wife have grievances and a husband have hatred to coexist peacefully?