In life, each of us yearns to be seen. Whether it’s emotional distress, work pressure, or friction in life, I hope someone can see and understand it. And many people see ‘being seen’ as a pursuit.
Of course, being seen, encouraged, supported, and understood are basic human needs. I remember the lyrics say, ‘Take one more look at you in the crowd, and I will never forget your face again.’ This line sings out a person’s inner emotional needs and hits their nerves with one word.
We humans, social social animals, need to establish emotional connections with others. When we are seen, we feel emotional resonance and interaction with others. This emotional connection satisfies our needs for love, care, and understanding. We are surrounded by friends, relatives, brothers and sisters, family members and friends. We feel no longer lonely.
Then we have expectations for them, expecting them to see, understand, and support us, which is understandable. Recently, there have been two issues that need to be brought up for discussion.
Firstly, should we make demands to our superiors?
Secondly, among relatives, do others have an obligation to satisfy you?
Should there be expectations first? What are your expectations for? How much can we expect to achieve and how much can we accept ourselves? All of these are essential prerequisites that cannot be ignored.
Should there be a requirement? We also need to layer it up like peeling an onion. differ from man to man. In a human society, there are requirements for family affection, partners, family members, and parents. Only in this way can one be considered a relative. For superiors and subordinates in the workplace, there should also be. A person who has devoted their entire life to the same organization, dedicating their youth, should also make demands. These are not excessive. But as an independent individual, everyone is responsible for themselves, and others do not see your obligation. No matter who he is, it doesn’t matter if it’s your counselor.
You also need to be aware of the exceptions and how much you expect to achieve. You cannot have expectations for others, and they must satisfy you 100%. This kind of relationship is not a healthy one. It is important to distinguish what expectations you have placed on someone and how much they are capable of achieving. He has the ability but is unwilling to achieve it, and he is also considering it.
Of course, the expectations and demands placed on you by others, whether you want to accept them or not, and how much you can accept, are equally important. It’s not that everything others propose must be accepted. It must be clear that everyone has their own limitations. My physical condition, time, energy, ability, and slow response are all factors that need to be taken into consideration.
Human emotions are generated through interaction, and emotions are fluid. What you expect from me, in turn, is more important than how you treat it. Because everyone has different needs, everyone’s response to the results also varies. Some people only want a relationship that is “not abandoned, a sense of belonging, and a sense of security”, whether it is hitting or scolding, as long as it is “there”; Some people want relationships that are ‘you have to satisfy me, you have to understand me, support me, understand me’, otherwise I will make a fuss; The relationship that some people need may be ‘just help me with this matter’. Help me, I am fortunate; Not helping, my life; Some people may want a relationship where ‘you must satisfy me completely’ or else you are bad, and I will break up with you, and so on.
There is another situation where we could have accepted it, but when the situation arises, our mood suddenly changes and the ground is shattered, which of course will ‘affect the fish pond’. In reality, no one can live in peace.
So, seeing and being seen are both systems engineering. It can be said that one pull activates the whole body. Seeing others requires learning, and being seen also requires learning. Sometimes people are not clear about what they are doing. They may be clear, but they may not express it clearly. They may understand, but they may not be able to express it. The amount of expression is the same thing, and the amount of understanding others have is the same thing.
The proposition of ‘being seen’ is very uncertain.