A square table, two people taking advantage of one corner of the table, three dishes, the man drinking drinks, the woman silently eating and drinking. When I was paying the bill, I couldn’t help but ask, it turned out to be a mother and son. My mother spoke straightforwardly, ‘This is my eldest son, who is already married and owns this store. I have two sons and we have a good relationship. My second son is already working and on vacation, he still clings to me and rubs against my face, saying’ Hello mom ‘.’. Children who grow up under secure attachment are very happy!
I have also observed the interaction between boys during adolescence, where they play and fight, chase and even push each other. This is the language between boys.
case The relationship between this father and son is like this. The father said that now that his son has entered high school, he is powerless to do anything about his child and can only provide material support. But now my son is facing academic difficulties, interpersonal conflicts, and addicted to games. The child is confused, and what the father is doing is just following the flow.
Father to son is a meaningful existence. Sons are going to grow up to be men like their fathers, and in their fathers, they can see their own future. They will consciously take their fathers as role models. Psychologically speaking, maternal love is delicate and gentle, and in maternal love, boys can find satisfaction; And fatherly love is broad and rough, in fatherly love, boys can find a sense of direction. Father’s behavior, language, and thoughts constantly influence boys, but not all fathers can successfully assume the role of a ‘son role model’.
A humorous father once said, ‘If you want to get along well with your son, you must learn how to wrestling!’ The father meant that the boy likes his father to get along with him.
The things that sons learn from playing with their fathers have profound significance for their future growth. In their fights with dad, he was able to make them understand that everything has rules. The process of a father getting along with his son is the process of transmitting various rules to them. Under the influence of testosterone in the body, any boy is a naturally aggressive ‘destructive king’, and this nature requires the father or father’s role representative to lead him to a place, a socially permissible domain.
If a father allows his son’s destructive and aggressive behavior to develop unchecked, then the boy will be “lawless” (there are also cases where a mother indulges her daughter and her daughter is lawless), just like the car of life running wild, the outcome can only be the destruction of the car and the death of the person. If a father forcefully suppresses his son’s destructive and aggressive behavior, the boy may “silently do big things”. The best way is to guide, or in other words, direct their strength to the parts that society allows. As students, learning is the place where society allows their energy to flow. Interests and hobbies are no exception, they also become bonus points. And good grades are the halo of attraction.
Therefore, the interaction between father and son is particularly important. To manage and teach, to manage and teach, to manage and teach again, to manage first and then teach, to teach first and then manage, all of which require careful consideration of the scale.
A psychologist once conducted a survey in a high school. He found that students lived in groups. Generally speaking, boys who love learning always play together. Academic difficulties and addiction to gaming make it particularly difficult for students with learning difficulties to survive under the baton of the middle and high school entrance exams. Their sense of alienation can even engulf all their self functions, leading them into a state of ‘lying flat’.