Complaining is a common way of interactive communication in real life. Husband and wife argue, with the wife complaining that her husband “never cares about the family” and the husband having difficulty saying “she always nags and makes me want to escape”.
In the family, complaining is a way to express dissatisfaction, disappointment, or anxiety. Direct needs may lead to conflicts, and sometimes inner thoughts can be conveyed through complaints. The wife complains that her husband “never helps”, and her real need may be to get more attention and sharing; It is also possible that the wife is avoiding larger emotional conflicts (such as violence). The long-term nature of complaints reflects disappointment with marriage.
Complaining is also an invisible power struggle. By complaining, one may want to influence the other person’s behavior and gain a stronger position in the family. Children in adolescence often complain about their parents in order to gain more autonomy for themselves.
Psychology often studies complaints from attachment theory, intergenerational transmission of communication styles, emotional management, and other aspects. Through psychological analysis and intervention, the problem of “complaints” can be solved to promote mutual understanding. This approach brings great benefits to both families and individuals.
Today, we will try to talk about women’s “complaints” from a male perspective.
The expression of complaints is accompanied by a desire for support or care. This goes without saying. But in reality, women are not aware of this operation. The operating mechanism of society is male thinking, and women participate in society. Unconsciously, women maintain the original social mechanism while still placing themselves in a weak position. This is a result of cultural influence. Complaining is a recognition of social culture, and “admiration for strength” and “male responsibility” are subconscious thoughts of women.
Women always hope to find an excellent person who can satisfy our fantasies and lead them forward. In fact, I have unconsciously identified with the male concept in society and am now “dependent” on others. The underlying message is clear: as a woman, I cannot reach that place. And women seem to be very willing to put their husbands in a higher position, always being a “little woman” full of fantasies about their husbands.
A woman visited and was able to handle work independently and at home, but was trapped in a conflict and unable to extricate herself. Although divorced, I am almost 60 years old and still constantly fantasize about the care that men took for me when I was young. This kind of thing is not new. Find self-identity in men and rely on male evaluations to affirm one’s feminine value.
Complaining is just a small part. I believe that complaints will not end, they will continue, and I also believe that complaints will decrease because we have another perspective when facing something.